blissmorgan. Entries tagged with writing

I just read this interview a dear acquaintance of mine did with Harlan Ellison, with regard to the video game I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, patterned after the short story of the same name. For reasons I am still working on parsing out, I cried twice to varying degrees while reading the article. If you have not read the short story before, you can do so here. It is one of those short stories that is perhaps on the long side; I highly recommend it, and am certainly due for a reread of it myself.

I can't quite think enough to put together a long post, this morning. I have a persistent pain my my lower right abdomen (not my appendix, probably - I have had this pain come and go before, and used to think it ovarian cysts, but last time it became unbearable and had it checked out the doctor found no cysts and concluded it was likely referred pain from an IUD knocked out of alignment), and a gentle emotional malaise. Both these things will pass. They always do, eventually.

I learned a new word from Mr. Ellison's interview, and it is this:

Rationcination: 1 : the process of exact thinking : reasoning. 2 : a reasoned train of thought.

I have added this word to my page of Words I Did Not Know in my bullet journal.

To Do:

Finish my red bean moon cake
Pretend I did not find a hair inside said moon cake
Work
Laundry
Send that letter to that friend
Post that response to that fairy story
Figure out how I'm going to go about doing my tax filing this year - hire a person, maybe?
Add my address to the Incowrimo database again

Are you familiar with Incowrimo? Sending people a snail mail each day in February. If I'm going to get myself a nice new pen for that, I'd better hurry up.

Hello, Blisstopia.

Edit: Maybe I should have pressed POST before zooming off to work this morning. Oops. Hi.

Mood embarrassed

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It's odd how going to sleep at midnight and waking up shortly after 8 somehow doesn't feel like a full night of rest, even though clearly I was or I'd have not awakened and stayed awake. Perhaps it is because I spent so much of my sleeptime dreaming, and therefore my mind was quite active during its rest period.

Without getting too deeply into it, I dreamt of lions, and of a demon with a nickname, and of sex that some people might consider problematic because it involved explicit preemptive consent rather than in-the-moment consent. That is, perhaps, something worth setting up a private filter for. Sex and sexuality, the nitty-gritty sexy-wexy that lead to the erotica I write, the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of non-het non-mono relationship lifestyling: let me know if you're interested in being in on that filter.

....I've had this post sitting open for almost two hours because when SALM finished cooking breakfast he sat down and we proceeded to have a long conversation about the dangers of sharing personal information on the internet, my long personal and third-party familiarity with those dangers, the way they have morphed over time and differing services (I've outlived several online journaling services; I was on OpenDiary back when it was free. And existed.), and how nowadays one must not only be concerned with individual manipulators using one's own information against you but also corporate and political movers attempting to do so as well. It surprised him how much time and thought I've actually put into all of it; it's not something we've ever really discussed in depth before. Topics ranged from the Livejournal Strikethrough to the Koch brothers, from Ayn Rand to G.G. Allin to Nationalism, Antifa, and Communism.

It was a long more thinkythoughts than I was expecting this morning, and there are parts where I fucking floundered due to lack of knowledge/information, but it was also damned wonderful. At one point, too, he strongly urged me to look into getting an MS in Library Information Science, because a strong swath of the needs of the positions making use of such a degree include a strong leaning into Information Literacy, something which is of definite interest at large these days and which he sees me having an affinity for. We'll see; for now, I've lodged that as a thing to consider.

Last night I went and played D&D for the first time in quite a while. My DM lives north of the city, so it is a bit of A Drive getting there and back, but it is so worth it. Apparently two of the other players have been clamoring for me to come play, because I was in a game with them that he ran a couple years ago and was so much fun. Then, I was a halfling fighter whose exploits included jamming a bomb inside a severed monster head to use as a frag grenade against a crowd of evil dwarves, and stealing not one but TWO airships. I was an excellent admiral, y'all. This time around, I am a half-orc granny rogue whose weapons of choice are a demeanour of being aged and infirm until the fighting starts, as well as the actual weapons which are a pair of knitting needles (daggers) and an oversized pair of scissors that can be yanked apart to use as a pair of shortswords.

My DM loves me and lets me get away with shit because we are both writers and I pull shenanigans that are as entertaining as hell, even if I do have a knack for completely derailing his adventures. Heheheheheh.

Today will involve a bunch of driving around. We are going to hit IKEA to pick up a corner shelving unit for my bathroom upstairs, so I no longer have my stuff in sort of just a piled drift in that particular corner. I'm also going to get a pine 5-drawer unit and some green stain for the Youngest Spawn. Well, the stain is for the chest of drawers which, in turn, is for the Spawn. He's been handling using soft hanging units in his closet for his clothing, but he is getting big enough and his clothing collection big enough that they don't fit handily into the hanging units any more, and have a tumbling-out tendency.

The driving around is also going to involve playing Ingress. I started playing it a month or two ago, bopping over into it sometimes while we were already out playing Pokemon Go, and my interest in it intrigued SALM enough that he started playing it over a long weekend when he was away visiting family. He went up 5 levels in as many days, and we have been having a grand time going for drives together and building up portals, links, and fields.

This evening I have some picking up to do in the living room, and I may very well set the children to the task of de-decorating the tree. It's time. I want it out.

I also have writing to do, so there will be some introspection today. It may involve lions.

Hello, Blisstopia. <3

Mood chipper

Tags:

antifa,
d&d,
dreams,
erotica,
gaming,
good mornthing,
libraries,
life in blisstopia,
life with salm,
roleplaying,
sex,
talking about the internet on the intern,
writing

I began last year with the goal of posting a short story per week on my Patreon. I kept it up for rather longer than I managed to it, but the attempt petered out around the same time I got a part time job that has since become full-time. Thankfully, I have now reached a point of having the pace of things, rather than running to keep up, and so I am able to write again the way I wish to.

With that in mind, there is a new bit of story up on the Patreon blog; click through to read it and, if you enjoy that or any of my other works, please do consider becoming a Patron of Blisstopia.

Mood accomplished

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Being able to sleep in is somehow elusive to me. Several times in the past week, thanks to children being away and various holidays/weekends, I have had the opportunity to do so, and usually stayed up late the night before. Each time, however, my body wakes around 7. That is the time that is the point of no return when it comes to getting the Spawn ready for school, and I think my body clock is somehow attuned to it.

On Sunday I paid tribute to the porcelain gods and returned to bed for a while. Today, no such luck. Today I was not sleeping alone, and while the room had been cool enough for me to comfortably fall asleep, for the comfort of my fellow sleeper there were two warm-mist humidifiers running. The air was too moist; I was too conscious of my breathing. It was a low-grade version of trying to inhale in a steam room. The other rooms in the house are all unsuitable for sleep. So, I am up.

I am back into that space where I am having vibrant and narrative dreams, and my mind is alighting on random objects, sounds, happenings, and making of those things brief but vivid scenes or vignettes. These are tell-tale signs, to me, that I am ready to start writing stories again. I was doing so regularly for the first... I want to say the first third of last year. Approximately once a week I wrote a story and shared it in relatively rough/unedited form on my Patreon. I would like to do that again. I need to get over that awful little "but what do I write about?" hum, however.

Perhaps there are story/writing prompt communities or accounts here on DW; I shall have to have a looksee.

My Mornthing post the other day was huge, but that showed me that I actually do have rather a lot to say when I am letting it come, rather than when I am trying to push myself to make social media posts on a daily schedule. Mornthings here are likely to be less-than-daily, but I reassure myself that they will also be more content-rich.

Today I am going to spend some time writing. First up on the docket is transcribing the responses to my written RPs into actual digital responses to them. I've been snatching spare minutes here and there putting them in a dead tree notebook. Then... then I shall go on a prompt-hunt, I think. Perhaps I'll even dig out the neato notebook that I had set up to use as a bullet journal (bujo) and see if I can't kickstart its use in some way that dovetails in with my writing. A dedicated page that tracks what I've written and when and how long it is, perhaps. I'll figure it out when I get to it.

The world is silverybright and damp outside my window. It rained fiercely here last night, and not only here - a friend half a continent away said it was like the universe was powerwashing last year off this world. I am holding that comment in my mind concurrent with the person I helped yesterday who commented to another person that the new year was just another day.

Every day is just another day. But every day is a day where things can change for the better.

Happy new year, Blisstopia - and good morning.

Mood hopeful
Music Dishwasher rumbles

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Good mornthing! I managed to make a shower fit into the time that is normally just enschoolenation prep for the Spawn. And then I got my hair to do The Thing by accident. And then I found my eyeliner pencil sharpener. I’m cautiously going to declare, even though it is currently not even 8am, that this is A Good Day.

My good vibes. I give them too you. ::makes woodleymotions toward you through the internet::

Here is a selfie, because I have not done one here in a while, and I like the way I look and want you to have the chance to enjoy it as well:

First week of full time work is going well, so far! We will see how it proceeds in the second half, however. My first three days are a standard 8:30 to 5 workday. Thursday through Saturday are a 10 hour day, a day off, and then a 6 hour day. That will be the part that will take the most adjustment for me, I do think. I'm happy to have Fridays off - it makes driving the lads to the Spawnfather easier, and I can have a day of legit rest after the long day because everyone else is at school or work.

One thing I am having to figure out is how to rejigger the housework. There is a lot that I would just kind of do when I felt like it, because I had quite a bit of time at home. Now, though, I don't have so much home time, and I don't want to jam all my houseworkery into my day off. This morning I started a load of clothes once Youngest was up and out of bed (the washer/dryer unit is in his bedroom, poor kid), and am going to shuffle them into the dryer and start another washload before I head out to work. I'm thinking I may be able to start a routine of a load or two a day that way, get caught up, and then set up some sort of schedule for everyone to get laundry done in a timely manner without unduly invading Youngest's space in the process.

I am also with less maker time and, while I am adjusting to the heavier work schedule, I've been making practically nothing. What sit-down time I have had in the evenings I have been mostly dedicating to playing WoW and watching Better Call Saul; I've burned through all three episodes of the latter, though, and my brain is increasingly itchy to write. I've simply been unable to settle on a character/plot idea. I don't like this feeling, this mental pent-up-ness. This energy goes sour if I don't find something to pour it into.

I need to write something, for me as well as for my Patreon folks. And I'm due for a Drunkblog soon. What's good in the streaming services right now - any cult classics? Weird horror? Hallmark-stylie holiday movies? I'm planning on doing the next DB over in a channel on my Discord server. Ping me when you want an invite to the server, because it's a nice place for both synchronous and asynchronous chatting.

There's a special channel just for the Patrons.

Anyway, time to go do the thing what makes me the money, and at this point I think I will pick up breakfast/coffee en route.

Hello, Blisstopia.<3

Mood good

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I’ve been taking on a lot of extra hours at work, which is good for the paycheck but man am I a tired Bliss some days. Today is not technically a workday, but I still had to be up at six to wrangle 2/3s of the Spawn for enschoolenation.

The other Spawn has an appointment in the city, to which I will be escorting them through the rain and fog. They will be cranky about the weather and yet resigned; it seems always to rain when we have to go into town.

I have been doing a lot of crochet this month; the dragonfly scarf is easy, beautiful, and satisfying. I need to scope out my yarn stash for suitable yarns to enscarfenate. Right now my project is the Aleatha shawl in crochet cotton; the main body is green and the very broad border is white. Daughterchild says I should weave red ribbon down the center to make is Christmas colors. XD

I’m doing a little writing, and hopefully should be getting back into posting regular stories on the Patreon sometime soon. This week and last were more for other people’s projects; I edited an erotic short story for Sorcha Rowan that both made me squirm and laugh, and I get to look over some of a Nobilis Reed story soon, which is going to rock because his stuff is always fun.

Last Night Me was looking out for Tonight Me, and set up turkey stew in the crock pot with leftover Thanksgiving Turkey, fresh veggies, barley, and some spices. SALM has class tonight, so it’ll be nice to have dinner done and ready when we land from our travels.

His grandmother passed last week; I don’t think I posted about that yet. He got to visit her the Sunday before, though. They had time for I love yous and goodbyes and tears; there is sad, but there is no wailing or teeth-gnashing. There is contemplation and gentleness.

I should get dressed and get moving, however reluctantly, into the day. I comfort myself with the knowledge that the bed will be full of warm boyfriend again tonight.

Hello, Blisstopia.<3

Mood awake
Location Kitchen

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The Spawn are just about enschoolenated as I begin this post, and surely shall be by the time that I finish. I work today, but have some small time to myself before I do that. I will be catching up on two roleplaying stories, trying to drum up interest in a third, and working on a dragonfly blanket.

I am having some big thinkythoughts about a thing, but that might end up being a Patron post.

For now, a Linkdump, because I think that, (I forgot what I was going to say there because I was so eager to get into the linkdumping; maybe something about the fact that I had what looked like 50 tabs open? >.>)

Opinions/Articles/Listicles:
A Tribly Is Not A Fedora
Wedding vows from various sects/traditions/religions/cultures

Crochet:
Dragonfly blanket pattern
A rainbow with clouds ... rug, I think

Knittery:
The Krydda Sweater - I have never actually made a sweater. Well, that's not true; I have made an adorable baby sweater that has never actually made its way onto a baby. I have, however, never made an adult sweater. Therefore, I am going to give it a go with this pattern, because it is really beautiful and the lacework is pretty but does not look difficult per se, and I can totally see wearing it to work.

Learning/Answering Questions:
Jim Henson assisted in the making of the original Yoda puppet, but was otherwise uninvolved with Star Wars.
The Road Not Taken, a poem by Robert Frost.
The Definition of Alacrity: a brisk and cheerful readiness
The Far Darrig if I am reading this right seem to be what the more modern iteration of Redcaps (fairytale, not political) are based on.
What number of the alphabet is the letter S?

Writing Resources:
Girl Names beginning with L
NaNoWriMo - because it is still November, even if I haven't really done much on the thing

Music:
H.1 - Again
Playlist: Dark Country - created with several other people. I still need to go through and weed out some things where there was misunderstanding about the flavor of the list, which is meant less to be American South country songs which are dark, and more music that evokes dark and creeping undeveloped/rural lands, realistic or fantasy.
Beyond the Sea sung by Bobby Darin
Pinkeye on Bandcamp
Dark Forest - an indie/folk playlist
Ruby by Charly Bliss
A Living Human Girl by The Regrettes

::clappyhands:: ooh, Shopping!:
Christopher Ruz writes a period horror piece (set in the 80s) called Rust. I love it. Also, I am in one of them as a character. It's awful. And awesome.

Random shenanigans:
They Fight Crime!
Path of Adventure - a fun little point-and-click text adventure that is built so that you can play it right in your mobile device, although it is also totally playable on desktop as well.
Free Game Planet - the site whereupon I found the above game.
How to make some really cool paper airplanes
Drunkblog: Holidays - in case you didn't get the chance to enjoy the shenanigans as they were happening realtime

Hello, Blisstopia. <3

Mood awake
Location Kitchen
Music nymano x Pandrezz - Hometown [full LP]

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How to start a day: Make coffee, get kids to school, rediscover an indie musical artist who was just getting started last time you listened to them and plow through all their new-to-you music on Youtube, get antisemitic anon hate on Tumblr, fix glittery nail polish.

Yes, really.

We are barrelling toward the end of October - Halloween is coming, as is the switchover from the Nightmare Fuel Project to NaNoWriMo. I still have not settled on what I'll be focusing on for NaNo this year. I might try to pull out an old novel and see what progress I can make it, or I might just sit down and write [s]porn[/s] erotica every day. Or create some new fairy tales. Or more horror. Or or or.

I'll figure it out when I get there.

I learned some interesting things yesterday, including that Bosslady thinks I've got the chops to advance pretty quickly within the organization. I'm mulling over the ups and downs of more scheduled hours and higher associated wage versus maintaining the part time level and continuing to attempt to make something happen for myself in the field in which I actually studied.

Still waiting to hear about the loan. Still driving my car as little as possible, and with the windows open.

Are any of you going to be doing NaNoWriMo? If I run writing group chats on Hangouts or Skype or something, possibly even simply in posts on here, would that be valuable for you or distracting?

Hello, Blisstopia.<3

Mood calm

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I caught myself trying too hard to perform “pretty” and so this is what you get today.

Alas, I did not have the foresight to stick out my pinky and so you cannot see the fabulous goldenglimmer made-for-me-specifically nail polish that I am wearing. I have gotten to the point where half the bottle is gone, now, and I am therefore using it increasingly sparingly so that it will last longer.

Today’s perfume is Scherezade, from BPAL. They say it is “Saffron and Middle Eastern spices swirled through sensual red musk.” I say it is dragonsblood with the sweet yanked out and a little extra of a particular incense thrown in. These descriptions are different, but not necessarily in disagreement.

I had yesterday off, except that there was a work meeting at five that I DEFINITELY forgot about until my calendar chimed at me at 4. Modern technology reminders FTW! Going to the meeting also meant I got to pick up an extra shift today yesgoodgivemethemonies.

The dragonfly blanket was such a hit that a distant relative is facebooking me asking to pay me to make one. I’m going to reply and agree, of course, but I am nervous about whether to give her an actual price right up front, and then discount it, or simply to discount it for her out of hand. I’m worried she will say it is still too much.

This is all complicated by the fact that I definitely did not time myself while making the first one, so I do not know exactly - or even approximately - how many hours I put into it. *facepalm*

I’ve been keeping up my prompt postings for Nightmare Fuel, but the number of people responding to them has dropped off sharply. I, too, have stopped writing. The nightmares have started, but I’m still staying asleep so…. IDK.

I brought the plants in last night; it was too late for the basil, which went to spotty and then fully brown within a day. The rosemary and, of all things, the deer hoof fern are absolutely thriving. I pushed it with the spider plant, but I think it’s going to be okay, even if some of the legs and babies are shrivelling.

I need to look around Dreamwidth and find some active written roleplaying communities. Because I have a need.

Hello, Blisstopia.<3

Mood awake

Tags:

Yesterday I got to bring home the centerpiece from the party I had attended the night before. I split it up and, including the one I brought to my brother’s party and gave to my mother, I made 4 full-size bouquets plus one that is a two-container bi-level (heh, bi) experiment in flower arranging that uses a small vintage cut-glass decanter and a Oui yogurt jar and sits on my kitchen window. You can see it over my shoulder there, actually. I always forget how much I like having flowers on the table, and then I have them and I’m like, “Oh yeah, I like this!” and then they die and I forget to do nice thing for me until next time.

Me in the kitchen looking at a bouquet of flowers

I should start doing this on the regular. Not so much and so massive but, like, one pretty bouquet, to me, from me, every payday. Poverty-me/Frugal-me is going to be screaming about it internally, but romantic-me who is working on remembering to be in love with myself the way I was twenty years ago.... that part of me is going to swoon and thrive.

Maybe eventually poverty-me will realize that an $8 clearance bouquet once every two weeks is not throwing me into the gutter, and will practice mindful silence.

I do not know why, but it took writing this post up to this point to realize that flowers are part of my love language, and now I am trying to figure out why that is. I think it is a combination of Ye Olde Romance Tropes, in which bringing someone flowers is a sign of caring for them, along with my fascination of secret social code languages like the flower language of the Victorian era, and a hefty dose of what a big deal gardens have always been in all of my family, ranging from vegetable to floral depending on the person. Apparently I have this mental rockpoint that insists that Flowers Are A Big Meaningful Deal and are good and important both for romancing and caring but also for daily maintenance of joy - and as cut bouquets in part due to their temporary nature, which draws one to meditate upon entropy, mortality, the fleeting nature of all things, and therefore the importance of enjoying the beauty with which we are presented in the now.

I wonder if one of the reasons I stayed with the ex as long as I did is because, despite the many problems, he was really great about getting me flowers a couple times a year.

Monday Funday, as someone prone to rhyming and desperately pushing back against the Garfieldean "Ugh, Mondays" trope must be saying somewhere. The Spawn have all been fed and enschoolenated without incident. Secret Agent Lover Man has the day off today, and he is have the sleep, which is Right And Good. Normally the dude gets up at like 4am to get ready for work and beat the Boston-bound traffic and find parking. I am hella on board with him getting to sleep in on his day off.

I need to put up the Nightmare Fuel prompt over in the G+ community, and perhaps spend some time working on creating a community here for the writing projects that I have traditionally always done over there. I think I want to make it a more general forum that has other central themes in other months, but in October will always be home to the Nightmare Fuel Project. It is in its 8th year, and I don't fancy letting it go just because Google made a big mistake and is deciding to close an entire service rather than fix its problems.

Aside from that, my day is largely mundanity; laundry is laundering. I've picked up half the kitchen table and really should do the other half. SALM and I will be taking the time to go do an EX raid in Pokemon Go, and I have never actually done one before so I expect it will be a good time.

Once the Spawn are home we will investigate the basement storage to retrieve fishing rods, and we are going back over to my parents' house. The lads are going to fish and hang out with my mom while I go down to the harbor with my dad and assist him with pulling the boat out of the water for the year. I was his main helper for that task when I was still living with my parents a few years ago, and so have continued on the tradition of helping him get the vessel in or out of the water. We have a good rhythm and shared knowledge, and I know my dad likes having an assistant that he doesn't have to tell what to do every step of the way - and my mom likes not having to stand knee-deep in the October ocean water at the bottom of the boat ramp.

I shall need to remember to pack an extra pair of thick and cozy socks to help warm up my feet after. I need to get more nice socks for myself, too. Can socks be a love language, do you think?

Hello, Blisstopia.<3

Mood calm
Location Kitchen
Music Neil Cicierega - Wndrwll

Tags:

Taking a long, close look

The Spawn are enschoolenated, and I am enmedicated. Today is the last day for both the antibiotic and the steroid. I am relieved to be getting off the steroid; I miss self-control in a big way. Last night when I got home from work the very first thing I did was apologize to Middlest for the way I had blown up at her the night before about something that absolutely did not warrant the reaction I had. It’s making me very angsty, to have this chemically-induced lack of self control in the middle of all this internet change in which I am also struggling for some sense of control.

I am also nervous about coming to the end of the medicines, because I am not sure I am necessarily better. I am still coughing a lot except when I have just taken the hydrocodone cough syrup, and I am experiencing a fairly persistent rattle in my chest when in take any but the shallowest of breaths. It is entirely possible that I will be at the doctor’s office again within the week, unless it magically clears up on its own. :-/

It will also be interesting to see how being done with the meds affects my appetite; earlier this week I was a walking mouth and stomach. I wasn’t even hungry, per se, but I was Eating All The Things. Now I have to remind myself that I am a meat-bot and food is the fuel without which I will not have the gofightwin.

I have a meeting at the school this morning, before work. It’s probably only going to be a half hour and, TBH, I’m not even nervous. We need to discuss Youngest, and some of the patterns that have been observed over the last few years, and how he is doing with settling in to new place/people/schedule/expectations. Honestly? By all reports he’s doing really well. One or two rough days, but nothing that has required me coming in to pick him up. The day that he tried to run away from school notwithstanding, but that was early on, and has been handled. He likes school.

He wants to join the STEM Club. I am so. Excited. about that, both for him and for what it means in terms of his social growth and his willingness to try new things. I’ll be getting whatever info I can while I’m at the school today, to help him get in on that.

I am behind with my Nightmare Fuel writing, but keeping up with the posting of the prompts, and honestly I’m very at peace with that right now. I’m most of the way through writing for the Day 3 Prompt, and when I finish it I will put it up on the Patreon and start in on something for the Day 4 prompt. If it turns out that my NF prompts end up being the impetus to pick back up the Weekly Short Story that I had been doing before I got the day job, then so be it. It feels good to write, and since I set my own parameters for myself then I am also the one who can change those parameters according to my needs and circumstances. Let me say that again, because that feels really important and I think bears meditating on:

If I have set parameters for myself, then I can change those parameters according to my needs and circumstances.

Hello, Blisstopia.<3